The Girls' Growing Up in the Lord

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Question

Hi!

I would like to ask you a question. Well, I'm 13 and I want to know if it is a sin for me to have a boyfriend. Please answer. Nobody seems to answer me, so please answer me.

Thanks for your time.


Answer

For something to be a sin, it has to be breaking a law of God. "Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness" (I John 3:4). There is no law of God that says you cannot have a boyfriend before a particular age. Now there is a law that says that you are to obey your parents when they tell you to do things that are lawful. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1), so if your parents say you are too young to have a boyfriend, then they are within their rights to tell you to wait because waiting doesn't break a law of God either.

But I have a different question for you: Since you are 13, why are you in a rush to call one particular guy your "boyfriend?" Marriage is still a ways off and I'm sure between now and then you aren't ready to lock yourself down to just one particular boy. I'm sure you have a number of friends, both girls and boys. Until you get to the age where you are thinking that one particular boy might be marriageable material, there is no need to become exclusive.

Well, thank you. I'm actually not in a rush. It's just that I really want a boyfriend! But my parent's say I can't and I get really mad. They don't let me go anywhere or hang out with my friends and that upsets me too. But, anyway, thank you and God bless you. I really appreciate that you helped me. And no I'm not ready for mariage, but I just wanted to know if it was a sin.

I can see why your parents have told you to wait. You see having a boyfriend in the same way of someone having a toy or a pet. You still have a child's view of the world where life revolves around the things that you want instead of an adult view where you see yourself serving others. That change in attitude will eventually come, but at the moment you are in a dangerous transition. Your parents are seeking to protect you from yourself until you get old enough to see the world more accurately. I know that makes you mad, but having you mad is better than having you in danger.

OK, well, thank you. And you're right they really do care and I need to respect that.