I need help really bad. I am addicted to gay and lesbian porn. I'm not a lesbian and if you ask anyone I know they'll tell you I am a girl who will only go for guys and I do. But whenever the topic of homosexuality comes up I'll be quick to say how much I hate it! My family always wonders why I hate it. I touch myself and I don't want to. I feel like I just go through the motions and don't really seek God. I'm scared someone will find out. My sister and my parents know I used to look up porn. But they don't know I still do. I've tried to just stay away from my iPod or delete Google. But I end up doing it. I haven't really tried to stop and the thought of it makes me feel like a slut, if you will. It makes me want to cuss and I can't bring myself to tell anyone. People will ask me when they get suspicious, mostly my parents though, and I lie to them. My sister tells me that she'll keep me accountable, but she never does. I don't want to tell anyone at my church because I'm afraid they'll tell my parents and they'll take away my iPod. I don't just use it for looking up stuff.
Please help me I've fallen so far away from the one I'm suppose to be focused on most. I'm really scared. I'm 15 and I don't know what to do. I've tried looking up verses, listening to praise music and pretty much anything else. I need help more than I know and I consider suicide because I do it. Please help.
Pornography in females is a habit used to get sexually aroused because the side-effect of arousal and orgasm is a release of stress. There is no biological need for masturbation, as there is in males. However, like males, the connection between masturbation and pornography is artificial. No one needs images of sinful sexual acts to masturbate.
What God said is, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God" (I Thessalonians 4:3-5). "Passion of lust" refers to lustful things that are designed to arouse lust a person -- things like pornography.
You can install K9 Web Protection on your iPod had have your sister put in the password so you can't disable it.
Thank you so much. Thank you.