Question

Sir,

I want help from you. Please do something, I'm really feeling sad. I'm now 20 years old. A few months ago I met a guy on a social network. He is a nice guy. We are very good friends now. He says I am his best friend. But I think I started to like him. I don't about him but there isn't a single day he doesn't cross my mind. Day by day my feelings are getting deeper.

We are from different countries, so I don't think it's possible to be together. He had requested to meet me but I told him no. I don't want to fall in love, so now to control my emotions, I stopped talking with him. It has been two week since I went online and talked with him. But still my feelings are same for him. I still miss him every day.

Sir, I'm a good student. My study habits were good. But from the day I met him I couldn't concentrate on my study like before. My exam is nearing. I don't know how to study. What happened to me? I am feeling sad. Sir, please suggest to me a way to get out from this situation. I'm also confused about whether to meet him or not. What should I do, sir?

Please reply as soon as possible. God bless you.


Answer

The problem with meeting someone online is that you know only what the person chooses to tell you. You know nothing about the person directly or independently. In reality you are infatuated with the man. Since you know so little about him, you are substituting your own imagination for the gaps. Thus, in many ways you are really in love with the man you imagine not the man who exists.

The only way to change this to real love is to get to know the person for real, but since you live in different countries and you don't wish to travel, this isn't going to happen. It will take spending significant time with the person -- not a day or two here or there to get to know each other. The other factor is that you would have to arrange to meet where the possibility of temptation to have sex is not present, such as having a chaperone.

Overall, I believe you are better off focusing on finding someone in your area that pursuing something that you won't be able to make work.