Question

Hi,

I was scrolling through your page and I need some serious help and advice. I really can't talk to anyone about it, so here it goes.

For the past three years my mom and I have been going to a church. The first year we really began to come close to the pastor and for my dad, too. The pastor was and is always very nice, helping us through our problems and giving us advice. After a year, the pastor began to hug me more often, which I didn't mind but then he would began to wander into my pants and under my shirt and started to touch stuff. Then he made me touch his stuff also. I have never told anyone about this. I'm scared they won't believe me, and they really like the guy, so it's weird. The touching has been happening for two years now. It's just so weird because sometimes I still see him as a nice guy who cares for kids and people and I don't know what to do. I'm 13 and he's in his forties.

I really need help and advice. Please answer as soon as possible. Thank you!


Answer

You are dealing with a sexual predator. Such people use confusion, shame, and a lack of confidence in their victims to manipulate people. They gradually push the limits knowing that past shame allows them the freedom to go further. These people manage to do these things to a number of people because no one is brave enough to say something.

As embarrassing as it may be, I want you to tell your parents immediately. If they don't believe you, tell your guidance counselor at school. Regardless of what happens, stay away from this man. Don't be alone with him. If anyone asks you why simply say, "He touched me inappropriately in the past, and I don't trust him." You don't have to convince people that what you are saying is true. It is enough for you to say you don't trust him. Even if people don't believe you at first, the fact that you said it will make people alert. If other girls also mention it, then people will remember it isn't just one person.

Thank you so much, you have no idea how much you have helped me. I will do so right away. Thank you. I am indebted to you. God bless you.