Question

So I am a pastor's kid. I grew up in a Christian family, filled with Christian values. When I was younger I was always reminded by my parents not to commit sin because I'll go to hell. I kept their advice until I was 16. I failed to obey them. I got involved in liquor and cigarettes. I developed a drinking and smoking habit. I tried to rebel against my parents and shut God out. It was horrible then when my parents found out. My dad was so disappointed he sent me away.

During those months, all I had with me was a Bible. I read it and realized what I had done was wrong. I prayed to God and asked forgiveness for my stubbornness. It was my fault, I let pride govern my life. I stopped drinking and smoking. I never did it again.

I transferred schools and I knew this guy who eventually became my boyfriend. After a couple of months. I made a bad decision again. I gave myself to this boy. We had sex. After the act, I felt horrible, dirty and unpure. I decided to pray and ask forgiveness, but every time I was alone with him, we ended up doing it again. It went on for four months. We had sex five times and every time we finished I always prayed and then I struggle to fight my emotions again.

I finally, confronted him, saying I don't want this relationship, I wanted to go back to God. I asked for forgiveness. I repented of my sin because I'm scared that I might anger God and He will discipline me. I'm scared that I might have a curse, and I don't want my family to suffer because of my failure to obey them. I felt really horrible and guilty and ashamed. It was like I trampled on the glory of God and shamed Him as well as my family. Whenever I felt like doing it. I told him that I need to go home because I need to do something.

It has now been a month. We haven't done anything sexually or stuff that could lead us to sin again. I prayed to break any ungodly soul tie that we have and to cleanse us from our sins.

However, this is the part where I am absolutely terrified. The consequences. I didn't get pregnant but did my sin cause bad luck in our family? Or possibly a curse? My dad just lost his job, and both of my parents are jobless. They are now looking for work, and I try my best to focus on school, so I can graduate and look for a job. I tried to look up curses and how they are broken. I've prayed several times already. But do I need to do more? I don't want my family to suffer the consequences of my sin. It was all my fault. Sometimes I think I want to run away so they won't have direct connection with me, and I could live with suffering alone. Just not them. I don't want them to live with any consequences my sin would bring.

I desperately need advice.


Answer

"What do you mean when you use this proverb concerning the land of Israel, saying: 'The fathers have eaten sour grapes, And the children's teeth are set on edge'? As I live," says the Lord GOD, "you shall no longer use this proverb in Israel. Behold, all souls are Mine; The soul of the father As well as the soul of the son is Mine; The soul who sins shall die. ... Yet you say, 'Why should the son not bear the guilt of the father?' Because the son has done what is lawful and right, and has kept all My statutes and observed them, he shall surely live. The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself" (Ezekiel 18:2-4, 19-20).

All of Ezekiel 18 would be good to read, but let us concentrate on the responsibility of sin. People suffer for their own sins. Sometimes those sins impact other people, but God doesn't hold other people responsible for your sins. For example, if you had gotten pregnant, your parents would have helped you deal with the problems you have, but your sins would not be a curse on them.

God doesn't use problems to punish sins that are forgiven. Punishment exists to get people to realize they are in sin and need to get out. Forgiveness of a sin won't remove the consequences those sins caused, but God doesn't place curses on people.

Your parents are jobless for other reasons than your sins. Continue to live by God's laws and your life will get better because you will be making good choices.