Question

I and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship for around 10 months. I have told him not to use Facebook because I often caught him sending requests only to girls and even caught him chatting with girls in Whatsapp. But he tells me that he mingles with them in a friendly manner, and he loves me so much. Even during last Valentine's day he avoided me saying that he had a celebration in church. I am really confused whether to pursue my relationship with him or to breakup with him. But I am praying a lot to God to show me the right path and to change my boyfriend's character. I guess God is telling me to stay away from him by revealing what he is doing. At the same time I am confused whether God wants me to have faith in Him and wait till He changes my boyfriend completely. Should I wait for God to change my boyfriend ? Should I breakup with him as God reveals his behaviour now and then? Note: He is my first love. Thank you for reading my query.


Answer

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, ..." (I Corinthians 13:4).

Jealousy is trying to hold on to something that you think belongs to you. In the negative sense it it trying to hold on to something that doesn't belong to you. You don't have exclusive rights to your boyfriend's attention. You are not his sole friend. People have friends, both male and female.

Nothing you've mentioned says he is doing anything wrong. If you are not certain of his love for you, then you can either wait for it to develop or you can find another boyfriend, but you certainly can't force him into behaving as you think a boyfriend ought to behave.

A big problem is that you don't love him. You love what you imagine you can make him into being, but you don't love who he is right now. That is infatuation, not love, because he might never change.

God has never forced people to change. If He did, the entire world would be saved from sin because He would force people to stop sinning. If you boyfriend changes, it will be because he decides to change.

The one person you can change is yourself. When you are looking at a man as a potential spouse, you have to decide if this person, as he is, is someone you wish to live the rest of you life with. You both will change over the years, but each decides to change because the person wants to change and not because the other person is making them change.

It sounds to me that you have some maturing to do.