That I was molested at eight is what I never told anyone. Although its all gone, the thoughts still come back once a while. Recently, I feel out of the line of prayer. Sex, and all there is to do with sex, clouded my mind. At first virginity was what I thought I was keeping, but after I had sex, I discovered that nothing at all made any difference. People often said sex is cool, sweet, and all other titles that will make one without control of the Holy Spirit to jump from one man's bed to another. I now understand sex is not worth forgoing the love of God and ones self.
Recently, I have felt nothing but physical and spiritual pain, physical imbalance, and spiritual deprivation. I want to start afresh on a clean slate with God, telling Him again how I felt about a lot of things. It's difficult to get myself to believe I have been forgiven by God. I feel like a harlot before God. I feel like the Holy Spirit dropped my bearing.
Please help me. All I want is just to be on the right track with God again. I do not want to try sex before marriage again -- not for anything. Please help me. Thank you.
Christianity is about change. It is about being converted from a life of sin to a life of joy. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God" (I Corinthians 6:9-11). Read through What Must I Do to be Saved? If there is anything lacking, correct it.
True, it is sad that you were trap by the deceit of sin. But you don't have to remain in the trap. Have faith in God. It doesn't matter what you were, it is all about who you are. "'But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live. Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?' says the Lord GOD, 'and not that he should turn from his ways and live?'" (Ezekiel 18:21-23).
"For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11).