Question

Hi. I just read the posts regarding sex. I have been in a long distance relationship for several months. I am a Christian and have not been involved in any form of sexual activity. I am 18 years old. My boyfriend is Catholic, and he has always made it clear that he wants to have sex with me. I do not want to sin by committing adultery. The real question I want to ask is by sending pictures of me wearing a bikini to him for the past month an act of adultery?


Answer

I'm puzzled. You are interested in a boy who makes it clear that he wants to involve you in sin. He is wanting to violate both what his religion teaches and what God teaches. How is this someone you want in your life?

"My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent" (Proverbs 1:10).

"Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals"" (I Corinthians 15:33).

As with all sins, the way to avoid a destination is to not start down the path that leads there. "Do not enter the path of the wicked and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; turn away from it and pass on" (Proverbs 4:14-15).

Fornication and adultery are not the only sexual sins. There are numerous sins that precede these sins. "Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts" (Romans 13:13-14). "Sensuality," or "lewdness" in some translations, refers to people acting without restraint on their behavior -- like animals. This refers to inappropriate sexual touching, making out, and the like. "Lusts" refers to strong desires to do what is wrong, to the point that you are telling yourself that sinning would be alright, at least in some cases.

Why send pictures of yourself scantily clad instead of normally attired? I suspect he is demanding these because he is lusting over your body. He isn't seeing you as a person, but as someone to have sex with. "But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them" (Ephesians 5:3-7). Fornication is not to be associated with Christians, so we don't give even an impression of approval in our words. Nor should it exist in other forms of communication.

The question: Is it okay for boys and girls to swim together? touches on appropriate clothing and would be good to read.