Question

Hello,

I read something about virginity on your page this morning. My problem is I lost my virginity just recently with a guy I love so much, even though we have broken up the relationship. But I wish to marry him because I can't imagine going to bed with another man. That is my problem now. Kindly help me with some quotations and prayer, so he would marry me.


Answer

You are asking me to ask God to take away another person's free will. That is something that God does not do. My guess is that you and your boyfriend were having difficulties. It looked like he was planning to leave you, so you thought that if he was able to have sex with you he would stay. He willingly had sex, but he left anyway because sex doesn't solve any problems, it just adds additional complications. The reasons you two were not getting along and the reason he decided to leave were not addressed.

At the core is a difference between how men and women tend to view sex. Sex to a woman is an emotional response. It is something you do with a person you deeply love and are committed to. Thus, there is an assumption by a woman that if a guy has sex with her, then he is deeply committed to her. However, to a guy sex is something that is done because it brings extreme pleasure. While it is better with someone you love, a guy doesn't need feelings for the person he has sex with in order to do it.

You tried to make the commitment with sex, which doesn't work. He saw it as a gift offered with no strings attached.

This is just one of many reasons why God said that sex outside of marriage is wrong. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). Marriage is the lifetime commitment that must be in place first before sex takes place. Marriage provides the proper foundation for a sexual relationship.

Thanks so much for the enlightement.