Question

I am a lady of 22 years. Due to the fact that I am scared of premarital sex; yet, there is the urge within me and my boyfriend as well. I want us to get married within a space of a year, but he is going for his masters degree, and I am scared I can't wait and getting pregnant before marriage. What should be the solution?


Answer

"Scared" is probably not the best word, but you should have a strong respect for how the human sex drive is. There are two approaches to this. First, don't stir up sexual passion in each other. You can't start walking down a path that leads to a destination that you don't want to reach. "Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on" (Proverbs 4:14-15). For more on this see: Is it OK to be sexual with someone you will marry soon?

The second part of the solution is that if you can't wait that long, then go ahead and get married. "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:8-9). A major cause of fornication is the artificial restraints people put upon themselves. If you two wanted to do so, you could get married tomorrow at the courthouse. Getting married is taking on a huge responsibility. Since your boyfriend is going to school, life will be difficult for a while -- but not impossible. You have to make up your mind to work through all the problems as they come up. But for all the inconvenience, marriage is far better than committing fornication.