Question

Hi,

I don't know where to begin. I have three boyfriends, and I'm confused.  I want to break up with all three, but I'm incapable of doing it. I love God, and I want so bad to do right by Him, but I'm failing every time I try. I even scared of going to church because I feel like God will expose all this in front of everyone. I know that He reveals in order to redeem. I told my friend about these guys, and she seems to be supporting the situation.  I want to stop. I feel like I'm losing my mind by the day. I don't want to go to hell. But I don't know how to stop with my sinful acts.


Answer

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it" (I Corinthians 10:13).

Unfortunately, I have to start out disagreeing with you. You do have choices ... there is always a choice in every situation. And God also says you are capable of making those choices.

I suspect a difficulty comes from you being comfortable with your current problems. Even though you know you are doing wrong and you don't like it, it is still something familiar. Thus, it is less scary than the unknown. The guys provide you attention, though it is the wrong sort of attention. You can at times pretend that they actually love you, though you know deep down that they are actually using you.

At some point you have to put your trust in God. God says that lust, lewd behavior and fornication are all wrong (Romans 13:13-14). It isn't an arbitrary rule. It is wrong because it is harmful. Sure, the change will be scary at first, but I know that it won't take long before you realize that your life is so much better without all that sin in it.

I know I do have choices. I know that I have, but I don't know how. I prayed, and still pray, but it's like every time I try to change there's this thing that makes the boys notice me.

And because a boy notices you, you have to have sex with the boy? That doesn't make sense. You talk about not wanting to have sex. You acknowledge that you can make your own choices, but you don't actually do either. Until you decide you want to change and not blame anyone else for your poor choices, no one will be able to help you. "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11).

People make choices not to sin, not because they are forced to make the right choice and not because they don't want to sin. They know the sin is wrong and regardless of their personal feelings they choose to put God first and reject sin. "Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded" (James 4:7-8).