Question

Minister,

I am a young girl of age 18 and had had sex four times with my boyfriend. I really feel so bad anytime we are done having an affair and always plan for us to stop with it all, but I can't. I really need you to help me.


Answer

I don't if I can help you until you reach a point where you decide that God is more important to you than your boyfriend and that living righteously is more important than having sex. Right now, you can't make up your mind, so you constantly compromise. You don't want to lose your boyfriend, so you hope to keep him around by letting him have what he wants. It works for a short while, but sex won't keep a relationship. The odds are that he will get bored and look for a new girlfriend to conquer.

Jesus stated this by using extreme examples: "If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell" (Matthew 5:29-30). In your case, you are better off losing your current boyfriend because you refuse to have sex with him again until you are married than to keep him and end up losing your soul. If your boyfriend refuses to live righteously, then he is going to constantly interfere with your ability to live a Christian life.

Thank you very much. For sometime now I have tried all possible means to break up with him but anytime I raise that issue, he ends up saying that I am cheating on him and that's is why I am saying we should break up. Please help me figure a way to break up with him.

I am confused why his opinion about the situation matters. Having sex without being married is a sin. He insists on having sex, so you dump him because he is causing you to sin. You simply stand firm on the matter. It doesn't matter if he thinks you are seeing someone else or not. That is one of the problems with the current situation: you have no obligations to each other because you are not married.

The easiest answer is "I'm leaving you because you keep causing me to sin. I want a man who honors God first."

Thank you very much. God willing, everything is over between us now. I am dearly learning to keep myself strong without going back.