Last updated on October 27, 2020
Question:
Hi,
I worship at a church of Christ too, and so does my family on both sides. I’m 14. I have a neighbor who I have known ever since kindergarten. I’m only about a month older than him. We like each other. We dated last year for four days. I broke up with him because I was afraid it would end up ruining our friendship, which means a lot to us both. Since then we have decided to not date, for now, so as not to ruin anything. We talk a lot about the future, and I feel like I would love to marry someone like him — I care about him a lot. But he is a Baptist and his mother’s side of the family is, and they are very devout, I guess you could say. I really like him, but I don’t know if I could date him because dating leads to marriage, and I really want to raise my children in the church. I would want him sitting on the pew with me. Would asking him to come to church with me (if we were dating) be rude or something? I’m afraid instead of talking about it he would get offended and leave me. But it is God’s word, so just need some advice here! Sorry, it is so long.
Thank you!
Answer:
“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 2:7).
There is no rush. I doubt you’ll be ready to marry for quite a few years yet, so locking yourself on one person this soon would not be wise. You are learning about the types of characteristics you might want in a husband. Keep that in mind. You are also learning to think about other factors, which is very important.
It is straightforward that if you want a family raised in the church, then you need to have a husband who is also devoted to Christ-like you are. So don’t ignore that fact when you are looking for a husband in more earnest.
There is nothing wrong with inviting friends to church services. Dating is not a factor here. There is nothing wrong with talking about your faith with others. In fact, I would think that it would be important to do that with people you care about. “Therefore those who were scattered went everywhere preaching the word” (Acts 8:4). If being who you are and talking about what matters to you drives someone off, then that should be a signal that the relationship wasn’t nearly as strong as you thought it was. I don’t mean being rude or obnoxious, but you should express what you see is right.