Last updated on October 28, 2020
Question:
I fornicated with my boyfriend and I know it’s wrong. I feel so bad about it, but we love each other and want to get married soon because we know what we did was wrong, but would this be acceptable to God? We stopped, but we do want to get married because we love each other. We are both college students.
Answer:
When it comes to sin, there are no “but”s. Sin is wrong regardless of the circumstances. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4).
What you and your boyfriend did was due to a desire for sex and impatience — not willing to wait for marriage to have sex. You behaved like animals with each other, following instincts, instead of reaching for something higher and nobler. You two love each other, but this wasn’t really an expression of love. Read through the definition of love in I Corinthians 13:4-8 and you won’t find physical passion being mentioned. In fact, take a look at Love is Different and see that what you two came from lust and not love.
Getting married is perfectly fine. That is what you two should have done before taking off your clothes. “But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (I Corinthians 7:9). Just because you are college students, it doesn’t mean you can’t get married. Life might be a bit harder, money might be tight, but it is better than sinning.
Question:
We will get married in about two months. Can God forgive us?
Answer:
God can and does forgive all who turn from their sins. “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (II Peter 3:9). Repentance means changing your mind about sin and changing your behavior.