Last updated on October 28, 2020
Question:
Hello brothers in Christ,
I need a spiritual answer to my question. I happened to meet with a guy. We didn’t really have sex because I was in my days, but what happened is I found myself on top of him while I still had my clothes on and he still had his. Knowing that I was on my period, he pushed his penis on the side. It became something like a semicircle. His clothes prevented it from standing out. He tried pushing his penis against me like we were having sex. I still had clothes on and so did he, so it felt like a big stone was being pushed into my vagina. Is it possible that I am not a virgin? I never felt pain later but I don’t know if I had lost my virginity because I had my pad on and I am bleeding. As a Christian, I feel lost. I feel ashamed of myself because I promised God that I wouldn’t have sex with a man. Would that be considered sex?
Answer:
What you did is referred to in slang as dry humping. While it isn’t fornication, it does fall under that category of lewd behavior. “Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts” (Romans 13:13-14). A Christian is not to act sexual with a man she is not married to, even when those sexual acts don’t end up in intercourse.
What bothers me most in your note is that you claim you are concerned about not losing your virginity, yet you make it sound as if the only reason you didn’t have intercourse was that you were having your period at the time. This isn’t the proper way for a Christian to act.