Last updated on March 26, 2025
Question:
Hello, good evening,
I have a question, and I really wanted to clear up this uncertainty. The question is: Can I have sex with my boyfriend? I was raped when I was little, and now as a teenager, I have this concern. Can I have sex with him, even if I was raped?
Please answer this question for me.
Thank you for your attention.
Answer:
I am very sorry to hear that you were abused as a child. No child should experience such things.
If you are asking if God allows you to have sex with your boyfriend because you are technically no longer a virgin, the answer is no. You and your boyfriend are not married. Sex outside of marriage (fornication) is a sin. “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Sex doesn’t become excusable to non-virgins.
If you are asking whether you’ll be able to have sex given the trauma you experienced, the answer is yes, but you might find it difficult at first. Marry a kind, understanding man. Let him know before you marry that you were raped as a child and may have difficulty being comfortable with sex. But if you are with a man you really love and trust, then it will be easier for you to relax, which is necessary for the enjoyment of sex.
Response:
Thank you very much for clearing my concern. Now, I am calmer. I know that sex before marriage is fornication and it is a sin. I intend to marry first. I would not be able to have sex before marriage because my biggest fear is to sin and disappoint God. Thank you very much for answering me