Do I go back to my former boyfriend after having a baby with his cousin?

Last updated on October 30, 2020

Question:

Where do I begin? I met my ex-boyfriend back in high school. I was in the 9th grade and he was in the 8th. Immediately we clicked. I thought I loved him. His cousin ended up transferring and attending the same high school as him. I began to secretly like his cousin, so I called his cousin my best friend.

My boyfriend and I broke up not because of his cousin, just because I would act flirtatiously with hist cousin and so forth. I never hid anything because my ex-boyfriend knew that his cousin and I liked each other. It didn’t matter how much I denied it.

Now that I am older, my ex-boyfriend from high school, and I use to fool around. I played him all summer. The last time I saw him was in early winter.

I had hooked up with his cousin, and I ended up pregnant. I kept my baby because I don’t believe in abortion no matter the situation.

My ex-boyfriend is telling me now that he forgives me and wants to work things out. It’s complicated because in my eyes I could never be with him because my child is his cousin and if we had a child together that child would be my daughter, sibling, and cousin. I’m trying to see if I should work things out or should I just be his friend and work on my life with my child.

Answer:

If I understand what you are saying, you had been fooling around having sex with a boy. The two of you eventually broke up because you had been flirting with his cousin. After the breakup, you started having sex with his cousin and eventually wound up pregnant. Now your former boyfriend would like to get back together with you.

First off, the plain fact is that having sex outside of marriage is wrong. “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). You would not be facing these problems if you had obeyed God’s laws.

My question is: Does your former boyfriend want to marry you or is he only interested in having sex with you again? I’m assuming that you have no interest in his cousin or that his cousin has no interest in marrying you.

Whether you decide to date and eventually marry your former boyfriend is up to you. It doesn’t matter that you have a child by his cousin. It is the child who is remotely related to him (being his first cousin once removed) and not you. If you and your former boyfriend married and had a child, the two children would by second cousins and if your former boyfriend adopted your child, they would be siblings by adoption. There is nothing wrong with that.