Last updated on October 26, 2020
Question:
Hi,
I’m a Christian and came from a Christian family. I’m 18 years old. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend which I was not willing to give. I told him several reasons, and I promised myself not to have sex before marriage, but I did it and I regret it. I don’t dare to pray as I’ll cry because the sin that I’ve done is unforgivable. Apparently, I was not close to God for a year. My mom said whoever is not close to God will get tempted by Satan. I regret it, and I cried. I don’t know what I am supposed to do in the future. I feel worthless, and not worthy in God’s presence. I feel I disgraced my family and myself. I don’t know whether there’s a Christian guy who would want to marry me in the future knowing that I’m not a virgin. Should I lie? I shouldn’t right? I’m scared, every day I feel so depressed and frustrated because of this thing.
Answer:
I’m not sure I understand what happened between you and your former boyfriend. Are you saying that he forced you to have sex with him? Or that he pressured you and you eventually gave in to his desire? It makes a difference in how best to answer your question.
There is no such thing as an unforgivable sin. The word “unforgivable” doesn’t appear in the Bible. There are sins that won’t be forgiven because the sinner won’t repent, but God has stated His desire to forgive all men of all their sins if they will just repent. “The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (II Peter 3:9).
“But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live. Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?” says the Lord GOD, “and not that he should turn from his ways and live?”” (Ezekiel 18:21-23).
Your value as a wife is in your character, not whether some guy had his penis in you or not. There are plenty of women who marry without being virgins and had wonderful marriages anyway. Even in Christ’s ancestry, there was a former prostitute named Rahab (Matthew 1:5).
If you date a guy and he asks if you are a virgin, the tell him the full truth. If you were raped, say so. If you were pressured into it, say so and tell him that you regret your weakness and that you dumped the bum right after because of what he did. Either way, the man will respect you for your courage in moving on.