Last updated on November 2, 2020
Question:
Hello,
I need to ask you: I am a very devoted Christian. I was lying next to my boyfriend and fell asleep. While I was asleep, he touched my breast and it aroused me. I couldn’t keep him off me, so we ended up dry humping, and I sort of had an orgasm. I keep telling myself that it’s his fault. He touched me and aroused me when I never wanted such a thing to happen. I don’t need you to tell me this wasn’t a sin, I know it is, and it will never happen again ever. I just need to know, is it a mortal sin? Can God forgive me for this? Because I know I would have never initiated anything ever, but I’m a human and I was weak at that moment. I was aroused unwillingly and it happened. He understands now that he can’t ever touch me like that again. Am I going to hell?
Answer:
Your boyfriend took advantage of you when your guard was down to get you aroused. Your note wasn’t clear whether he forced himself on you to dry hump you or whether you allowed him to do it because you were aroused. Either way, what he did was sinful. “Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman” (I Corinthians 7:1). By “touch,” the apostle Paul is referring to sexual touching. The dry humping would fall under the category of sensuality or lewdness, depending on your Bible’s translation. “Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts” (Romans 13:13-14).
It is hard to think clearly when you are sexually aroused and it is also difficult to think clearly when you just waking up. Even if he got you aroused without your consent, your arousal would not be an excuse to consent to go further. You still have a mind that should be used when faced with temptation.
If all of this was done without your consent, then I would strongly suggest that you dump the guy because he clearly doesn’t respect you and is only thinking about his own pleasure.
Only the Roman Catholic Church divides sins into mortal and venial sins. Such classifications are not found in the Bible. All sins are equally wrong. Any sin not repented of will lead a person to hell. Repentance means changing your mind about the acceptableness of sin and changing your actions to no longer sin (II Corinthians 7:10-11). You also need to confess to God what you did wrong and He promises to forgive (I John 1:8-2:1).
Response:
Hello,
Thank you for your fast reply. It feels so good to know that I can be forgiven for this because it’s killing me. I know I didn’t initiate anything, but I did allow it to continue even though I wasn’t thinking clearly.
Thank you so much.