Last updated on October 31, 2020
Question:
I want a husband who takes God seriously and who fears Him too. My boyfriend and I go to church together along with my family, but he only recently started going again after we started dating. My family also does Bible studies every week and he joins too, but there are times at school where I catch him swearing and sometimes he says dirty jokes, for which I scold him. We’re both seniors in high school. We both love each other and want to marry each other, but I sometimes have some doubts about our relationship. There are times where I feel like he doesn’t take God seriously, but I know that there are times where he tries but gets easily distracted. I’ve talked to him about doing devotionals together and he agreed that it was a good idea, but we haven’t started since we talked about it over a month ago.
I was born into a Christian family, but he was not. He used to go to church as a child but stopped and recently started again about seven months ago. What should I do? I haven’t talked to him about this yet, but I’m scared to sometimes because it will hurt him. He’s my first every boyfriend and I’ve told him that I think that marriage should come after dating and he agrees. We’ve only been dating for a year. Should I talk to him about God more and our relationship? What should I do? I want to talk to him about taking God seriously, but I’m scared that he might think that I’m trying to change him.
Answer:
One of the harder things to do when you are dating a person is to see that person for who he is and not for who he might become. The question you ought to ask yourself is if you love the man as he is, with no changes. People do in fact change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, but we can’t foretell the future. Look at him as he currently is and ask yourself if nothing about him changed, would you be content as his wife.
He is not a strong Christian. He uses profanity. He tells inappropriate jokes (Ephesians 5:3-7). Likely he is going to church to impress you. You have trouble talking to him about things that bother you. You aren’t certain that he is willing to work out difficulties with you.
I’m not asking you to change him. I’m asking you to talk to him and decide whether this is the man you want to raise your children. If talking to him about religion and proper behavior is going to drive him away, then I don’t see him as being the man for you.