Last updated on October 28, 2020
Question:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year. I didn’t live the Christian life until recently. Not long ago I believed that it was possible for someone to be in a relationship with a non-Christian but now I feel that it may not work because we are on two different spiritual levels. I do believe if you love a person and you are willing to make it work, it will.
He doesn’t tempt me to have sex or anything. I feel temptation will be all-around at times whether it comes from him or something else. It’s up to me to give in or not, so I feel, “Why break up with him?” I really want to inspire him and be a living example to him that this is the way in hope of him slowly coming to God. If I’m not there anymore, he can’t be inspired because the people around him didn’t choose this life that I have chosen.
He supports my decision and thinks it’s great. He wants to work things out. He said he’ll never do what I’ve done, but I pray that he has a change of heart.
I need a second opinion that goes straight to the point from someone who is a Christian as well.
Answer:
When looking at a person to date and potentially marry, you have to see them as they are and not as you imagine they might become. I know you hope that he changes, and I hope you are right, but we both need to acknowledge that he is his own person and makes his own decisions. You can encourage him to change, but there is no guarantee that he will change. For all, I know he could just as easily decide to change for the worse. However, most people tend to stay the same. There are reasons why they are who they are and those reasons rarely shift without strong reasons.
You state that the two of you do not have the same spiritual standards. You are not happy with who this boy currently is. Thus, you are telling me that he is not your idea of a husband. Perhaps one day he will change, but until that time, I would not suggest committing to him. Keep your options open. Likely a better man will come along in the future — one you can love for who he is and not who he might become.