Last updated on October 28, 2020
Question:
Sir,
I want help from you. Please do something. I’m really feeling sad.
I’m 19 years old. A year ago I met a guy while chatting online. I didn’t know him. We started chatting every day. After a week he proposed to me but at that time I didn’t have feelings for him, so I said no to him. We spent a year like this, chatting online without seeing and meeting each other. I shared my number, but he didn’t call me. Sometimes he used to text me, that’s all. Life continued. In that year I realized that I started to like him but wasn’t able to tell him. I tried several times to tell him but couldn’t.
One day I heard he had a girlfriend. I found out a month later, but he didn’t tell me. He used to tell me that he loved me. I also love him but can’t tell him. If that was true, then why did he get a girlfriend? I feel really broken. It really hurts me a lot. He seems happy with his girlfriend. It’s fine, but what about me, sir? It’s hard for me to concentrate on my studies. Was that all fake which he had told me? How could I know whether he really loved me or not? Whenever I chat with him tears roll down my eyes. I don’t know why. What to do?
Please, sir, help me.
Answer:
You had nothing more than a casual friendship. You never met, nor were either of you in love with each other. You had feelings for him, but those feelings never were love.
The fact that he would propose to you after having only corresponded with you for a week and never meeting you is a clear indication that he wasn’t serious.
The problem is that it is far too easy to pretend online. You don’t see a person in different situations, so you don’t know who he really is and he never knew who you really were. The fact that he never talked to you or came to meet you is also an indication that he was just pretending. This whole relationship was built in your imagination.
I take it that he found a girl locally and is interested in her. That is as it should be. You need to find a real boy whom you think you might one day marry. Chatting is no substitute for being with a person.