Last updated on May 20, 2025
Question:
I have this question:
I’m currently in a difficult situation – out of desperation (in a way), I’m about to sin, all the while knowing it is a sin, but feeling like I have no other choice. I have a difficult situation with my parents, and I want to avoid their anger, but it is leading me to tell lies, which is wrong in the eyes of God. So, if I’m not pleased that I’m doing what I’m doing right now, and want to repent after this, is it possible for me to be forgiven? I do not want to be unforgiven by Jesus, at the same time, I do not want to see my parents be angry at me. So will God still forgive me?
Answer:
You say you have no other choice, but then mention two alternatives: honesty or lying. I understand that honesty has the consequence of your parents getting mad at you. But you also know that lying has the consequence of God being mad at you. Of the two, you should fear God more. “Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell” (Matthew 10:38).
Since you say your parents will be mad if you tell them the truth, I must conclude that you did something that your parents told you not to do and are trying to hide the fact that you disobeyed them. If you had obeyed your parents, there would have been no reason to lie to them.
Sins have consequences, and some sins lead you to difficult choices. However, the choices remain. You always have the choice to do right. “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it” (I Corinthians 10:13).
Can you be forgiven for the lies you have told in the past? Of course. However, it requires changing your behavior and attitude toward sin. God doesn’t forgive while you continue to hide from your parents that you disobeyed them and lied about it. “Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19). You need to tell your parents the truth. They will get mad, but I think they will be happier in the long run knowing the truth. Then you can ask God for forgiveness.
Question:
The situation is quite different than that. I did not directly do something they told me not to do.
Also, I would disagree with their being happier. Their discipline looks more like abuse than discipline. I cannot talk to them about any of my failures or mistakes because they will not let me handle them myself without stressing me out and pressuring me.
Is it possible to have God’s forgiveness if I confess it to God and repent of it instead of to my parents? I already have a plan to avoid putting myself in such a situation again. I think I know the root cause of that, and if I overcome that, I will not tell lies anymore.
Answer:
Repentance is more than feeling sorry about something you have done. Sorrow often leads to repentance, but sorrow is not repentance. See: “What Is Repentance?“
What bothers me about your note is that you say, “If I overcome, then I will not tell lies anymore.” That isn’t a complete change in your mind about sin because, turning that statement around, you are saying, “I will continue to tell lies until I overcome my problem.” In other words, you still see lying as justified in certain situations.
Do you need your parents’ forgiveness to be forgiven by God? No. Your parents could die tomorrow, and you might lose your chance to apologize to them, but that won’t mean you can’t be forgiven. However, a part of repentance is demonstrating that you have changed. “For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter” (II Corinthians 7:11).