Last updated on October 29, 2020
Question:
I’ve been dating a guy for over a year. The thing is my parents don’t approve of it. It’s a very complex situation because I have deep feelings for this guy and of course my family. They want us to wait on God, which is fine with me, but they really do not approve. This affects the relationship I have with him. I have discussed this issue with my parents, but they insist that God will not approve and they are waiting for God to give confirmation. I just would like your take on it. I am a believer and so is the guy I’m dating. The difference is I’ve been a believer longer than he, and my mom says this is an uneven yoke.
Answer:
The problem is that this doesn’t tell me why your parents disapprove of your choice of boyfriend. I get the impression that they don’t like him, but they are too polite to directly state it. Thus, they use indirect, vague excuses.
They say that God will not approve of the relationship. Really? What verse do they base this on? I guarantee that God has not directly told them this because God has brought prophecy to an end (I Corinthians 13:8-10). Nor has God used vagueness in the past when He told people His will. People knew God’s will because people heard the message and saw the signs. Here your parents are claiming to have private communications from God that only they are aware of. As I mentioned before, I suspect they are doing this because they don’t want to directly state what they don’t like about your boyfriend. However, what they are doing is wrong. They are trying to pin the blame for their disapproval on God to give themselves an extra boost of authority. Such a practice is sinful. “And the LORD said to me, “The prophets prophesy lies in My name. I have not sent them, commanded them, nor spoken to them; they prophesy to you a false vision, divination, a worthless thing, and the deceit of their heart”” (Jeremiah 14:14).
This doesn’t mean they might not have a good reason for not liking your boyfriend. But the way they are going about expressing it is totally sinful.
“Uneven yoke” comes from this passage: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (II Corinthians 6:14). Read the context and you will see that Paul is talking to Christians about not putting themselves in situations where a non-believer might have control over their lives. It isn’t a discussion of marriage, though I know many people try to apply this to marriage. It is about situations where an unbeliever has authority over a believer and from that position may cause the believer to go against the teachings of God.