Last updated on July 5, 2024
Question:
Good day, sir,
I just recently started following your website.
Can God forgive someone who is always asking for mercy and going back to sin repeatedly?
I’m 19 years old, and I’m dating this guy who is 21. We’ve been engaging in foreplay for a while, and he’s always asking me to give him sex, but I’ll always refuse it because of the knowledge I have about sex. Not quite long ago, I read about foreplay on your website, and you explained it very well. I decided I wouldn’t engage in it again, but he wouldn’t like it if I didn’t. Most of my friends are doing it, and to them, it seems normal because they keep saying they are old enough.
I want to know if is too soon for me to date. Is it going to be a sin to God if I date?
I’m really confused. I hope you see my question and answer me. I don’t want to do things that will displease God.
Answer:
You have a fundamental misconception. Dating doesn’t mean being sexual with another person. It means you are seeing a person regularly so that you can decide if this is the person you want to marry. Sexual acts actually get in the way of getting to know another person.
God said, “Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts” (Romans 13:13-14). However, you have a boyfriend who has already talked you into sensuality and is working on getting you to let him put his penis in you. This is not a man who has God in his heart. I would recommend dumping him and look for a better man. Of course, he isn’t going to like you turning him down, but that is because his goal isn’t convincing you to marry him. His goal is to have sex.
Most of the world is chasing after pleasure, and as a result, most will not reach heaven. “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:13-14). Be one of the few. Telling me that most of your friends are sinning only indicates that you need to pick better friends.
Repentance from sin is not feeling sorry that you sinned. Sorrow leads a person to repent, but they are not the same thing. Repentance is when you are determined to change. You change your mind about accepting sin in your life, and you change your behavior, so sin is less likely to happen. “For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter” (II Corinthians 7:10-11). When you repent of your sin, that is when you can approach God and ask for forgiveness.
Question:
Thank you so much for this information. But now I don’t know how I’ll stay away from him. How do I have self-control over this? If he comes again, what should I tell him so that he won’t feel offended?
Please help me.
Answer:
What you are saying is making him happy is more important than making God happy.
I cannot force you to have self-control. You have to decide what is important to you and then act accordingly. Is temporary pleasure so valuable that you would rather sin than have eternal life? It is your choice. I can only tell you what God said.
Response:
I won’t do that again. I will be determined this time to do only what pleases God.
Thank you so much, sir, for this information. I’m really grateful.