Last updated on November 2, 2020
Question:
I highly appreciate your work and may the Lord bless you. I recently started dating a guy seven years older than me (I’m 17). I am still in high school and about to do my last year. He is on campus. Both of us are born again. My question is: How do I know that the relationship is from God and may lead to marriage considering the age difference and priorities? I don’t want to make mistakes that I may regret later.
I’m looking forward to your reply. Thank you.
Answer:
The age difference is less significant than you might think. It seems large now, but that is because you haven’t lived that many years yet. A greater concern to me, however, is your age. Though you are nearing the end, you are still developing. It is very easy for teenage girls to find older men attractive because they are more mature than the boys their own age and they appear to be more stable. Unfortunately, there are men who try to take advantage of that inclination. I’m not saying that this is true in your case, but I want you to be aware of the possibility.
You mention difference in priorities, but without further explanation, I can’t comment on that.
God doesn’t select your spouse for you. He teaches in His Word how to make good decisions, but the actual decision is left up to you. You should be looking for a man who follows God’s laws. If he is pushing for sex before marriage, then he is not a godly man and the relationship will not be godly.
You need to think about whether you want to spend the rest of your life with him and whether you truly love him. Take a look at:
Question:
Thanks for the reply. Concerning priorities, I don’t think a relationship is best for me right now. Should I take a break from it until I am more mature and can handle dating? Or should I just continue, balancing between academics, dating, and God?
Answer:
I believe waiting makes far more sense. Save dating for a time when you can seriously consider marriage.