Am I still a virgin after a man forcefully fingered me?

Last updated on November 2, 2020



I am 19 years old. I am a virgin and intend to keep myself that way until marriage. There’s this man, he’s my mum’s boyfriend. One day he comes over to meet my mum and she wasn’t around, so he stayed with me. We chatted and drank. All of a sudden he started touching me, I told him I am not interested and that I can’t betray my mum, since he’s my mum’s boyfriend. He said that we should forget about mum, and I shouted at him “I said, No.” I had to slap him and ask him to leave our home. He said, “You got some nerve to slap me.” I said, “I am going to do it again if you don’t leave.”

What happened next made me hate my mum forever. He pushed me onto the couch. I tried standing but couldn’t. He tore my clothes and put his hand in my vagina. I shouted and hit him, but he was stronger than me. He put his hand in deeper. When he was about to leave, he said, “I heard you are a virgin.” That is why I am hurt, my mum told him I am a virgin and intend to keep myself until marriage.

I met a guy about six months ago. I love him and he loves me too. He told me he’s a virgin and he said he is glad that I am too. I didn’t respond because I am not certain if I am still a virgin. I would love to reply, “Yes, I am still a virgin.” It bothers me a lot because he keeps asking. I don’t know what to say because I have never had sex with anyone.”

God bless.


It wasn’t your mother’s fault that she mentioned that you are keeping yourself sexually pure. She does have bad tastes in boyfriends, however. Let her know what her boyfriend did to you. I don’t know what the government is like in your area, but here, I would advise a young woman to file a complaint against the man with the police.

When your boyfriend asks, tell him that you have never had sex with a man, but a man did attempt to rape you once and you fought him off.  People put too much emphasis on “virgin” as a status. What is important is that you are choosing not to have sex before marriage. If it makes any difference, as far as I would be concerned, you would still be considered a virgin.

Meanwhile, stay away from that man, and if your mother doesn’t get rid of him, move out.


Thanks. This will really help. God bless you.