I was molested by a woman when I was young and since then I have a desire for women

Last updated on October 24, 2020

Question:

I was molested by a female at a very young age and since that happened I’ve always had a desire for women and have even been with women. I do not consider myself to be gay because I realize that this is not of God but it is of the devil. I have prayed and asked God to take this desire for women away from me, but I still have it. Is there a certain way to ask God to take it away or should I just accept it? It’s such a struggle because I know what’s right, but I don’t know what to do.

Answer:

God doesn’t require special wording in prayers. “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered” (Romans 8:26).

When a person experiences sex for the first time, the circumstances surrounding the event become quickly ingrained. You were molested by a woman, but then also reinforced the experience by having sex with other women. You’ve set up a pattern for your thoughts and behaviors — a pattern that goes against God’s teachings and against how your body was designed.

What you have to do is stop reinforcing the wrong behavior. Right now you have nothing to compare to, but once you marry a loving husband you’ll find things changing. It might take a bit for things to totally change, but any habit can be altered with effort.