Last updated on October 31, 2020
Question:
I am 16 and I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for more than two months. I know, it’s not that long. At his house, we began to cuddle and kiss a little. After that we started to kiss harder and what they call heavy petting. I’ve told him not to touch my breast many times. He seems apologetic, but after when we started to kiss harder, he would squeeze them. I gave in after he did that a couple of times. He then went and kissed, licked, and sucked my nipples. I don’t know what I am feeling at that moment. As a Christian, I know it is wrong, but I don’t know what to do. I’ve made him promised me, so I’ll see what will happen the next time. I really do not want to have sex before marriage, and I think I’m going too far by doing so. I really do not want to set this as a temptation to him. Can you give me advice on what I should do, and how does God see it from His point of view on this subject?
Thanks.
Answer:
The general rule is that if you don’t want the destination, don’t start walking down that path. See: Is it OK to be sexual with someone you will marry soon?
If you know something is wrong, then you do know what to do. He is clearly aiming to have sex with you. He apologizes, not for pushing you toward it, but thinking that he is pushing too fast. His aim is to get you so sexually aroused that you won’t think to stop until after he ejaculates. Right now, he is taking “no” to mean he has to work harder at getting your aroused.
The simple answer is to dump this guy because he isn’t listening to you and he won’t take “no” for an answer, but that is going to take courage on your part. I am positive that if you stop going partway. Not taking off clothes, tossing him out when he touches you inappropriately, etc. he will leave you because he isn’t interested in you as a person, but in being able to use your body for sex.
Question:
During the last visit, he kept his word. He didn’t even take a slight interest in touching me inappropriately. He didn’t want sex before marriage either. I think he was just curious about it. What are your thoughts on this?
Answer:
If he continues to behave himself, then you have someone who respects you as a person. A rare quality, it seems, these days. But I would not drop your guard or let yourself get put into tempting situations. He might not have the will-power to resist.