Last updated on November 2, 2020
Question:
Thank you for the two excellent websites you run for boys and girls to help them grow as spiritually mature and enlightened children of God.
Having looked at the topic of masturbation among boys and men, I understand they have a biological need behind their urge to masturbate since there is a build-up in their seminal vesicles and they need relief either through masturbation or wet dreams or through sex in the case of the married.
It is true, there is no similar biological pressure in a woman but have you considered the fact that there are times during the menstrual cycle, a woman feels sexually sensitive and ‘aroused’? I feel ‘horny’ around the time of ovulation and there is a strong urge to masturbate with the surge in hormones along with the vaginal discharge and feeling of lubrication in my genitals and the higher sensitivity in my breasts, nipples, and vulva. I masturbate without any sinful thoughts or porn and I feel relieved and relaxed. I get a similar urge to masturbate during my periods too some months. So there is a kind of biological (though not quite similar to men) reason for the urge and temptation in girls to masturbate at least once or twice during the month.
Am I right to think that there is nothing sinful and against the plan of God in giving release to myself without any sinful thoughts if I find the urge and pressure too much to handle?
Answer:
The Bible does not contain anything against masturbation by itself. When males do it, they ejaculate and, under the Old Testament rules, the release of semen makes them unclean. Females, under those same rules, become unclean because of their menstruation.
The danger comes in pursuing something solely because of the pleasure. While pleasure is not wrong, it can be a distraction, preventing us from seeing wrong when it does appear. In talking with boys about masturbation, I encourage them to try and distinguish between engaging in masturbation simply because of the pleasure and a need to ejaculate. They have to learn to recognize when their bodies are signaling that there is a need to ejaculate. It is the chasing after pleasure that typically leads boys into pornography.
Females can feel sexual arousal at any time, but they are most sensitive to arousal around the time of their ovulation. Males are most sensitive to arousal when their seminal vesicles get full. For boys, the only way for this sexual urge to decrease is through ejaculation. But for females, the sexual urge decreases naturally as the monthly cycle continues.
For both males and females orgasm releases hormones that cause relaxation. Thus, another drive between men and women to masturbate is to find temporary relief from stress. Stress is not a physical need, just as pleasure is not a physical need. But once again, this pursuit of relief from stress can be a distraction from considering whether something is right or wrong. Once again pornography, whether visual or verbal, becomes a temptation as a person seeks to force stress-relief through orgasm.
My point remains. Females don’t have a physical need to masturbate. There is a desire for sex and a desire for stress-relief, but these diminish even if masturbation does not take place.