How do I get closer to God after committing fornication?

Last updated on November 2, 2020


Good day sir,

My boyfriend and I recently broke up because of sexual sins. We have tried several times to stop and broke up several times in an attempt to stop it, but we kept going back to it, so just recently we broke up. I think it will work this time because of the distance. We are far from each other and won’t be able to meet each other. It wasn’t at first a break in the relationship, but I asked him if it was a breakup, and he said yes because he needed to clear his head.

We really love each other, but overcoming this sin was the issue. Now that we have broken up I really feel sad, but I know it’s for our good.

Sir, I really want to get closer to God and hear Him speak to me. What should I do?


If you want to hear God, then you need to open up His Word, the Bible, and start listening to what He has taught. See Communication Between God and Man. Without talking to both of you, I can only guess why you two failed to avoid fornication. The most common reason is that the limit is placed too late. Other sins are allowed and people tell themselves that as long as intercourse isn’t taking place, then they are all right. However, lust (Matthew 5:28), sexual touching (I Corinthians 7:1), lewd behavior (Romans 13:13-14), and even nakedness is tolerated, but very quickly the sexual passion rises so strongly that there is no resistance to actual intercourse.

Breaking up is a solution if the two of you do not plan to get married, but if you are planning to get married, then marriage itself is the solution (I Corinthians 7:9).


Thank you sir, for the advice, but we are still too young to get married. We really don’t want to break up. Is there any other thing we can do that can help?


Yes, if you don’t stir up sexual passion in each other, you could make it work. It means that both of you have to be committed to avoiding lust. If only one of you tries, then you both will end up failing. It basically means that you can’t trust yourself to behave, so you don’t see each other where there are not other people around. You don’t go off into each other’s bedrooms or give yourselves opportunities to misbehave. See: How do we hold out until marriage when we’ve already been sexual?