I messed up and I’m scared

Last updated on October 23, 2020


In response to your article, “Can a woman get pregnant if the condom slips off after sex?” I could really use some advice. So I messed up. I had sex. And I’m scared. Physically I’m scared I could be pregnant. He used a condom but when he pulled out it kind of slipped a little and then he pulled the condom out. What are the chances of me being pregnant? Spiritually I feel disgusted with myself because I know better. I feel like God hates me. I don’t know what to do on either account.


In regards to the possibility of pregnancy, there isn’t anything morally right that you can do at this moment other than wait to see if it does happen. Any time sex takes place, there is always a chance of pregnancy; after all, God did design sex in part for the purpose of conceiving children. Men try to circumvent it, but they can only decrease the odds, not eliminate them.

Spiritually, you need to get back on track. You can’t continue sinning and expect to reach heaven. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Committing fornication isn’t the end of all chances to get to heaven, but it does mean you have to face the fact that you sinned and that you need to change. That is what happened in Corinth. “And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God” (I Corinthians 6:11).

If you are not a Christian you need to become one. By that, I don’t mean that you claim to be a Christian, but that you have actually have done what God requires for a person to be His child. See How to Become a Christian to see if you have fulfilled God’s commands in this area. A part of becoming a Christian is the removal of past sins. “And now why are you waiting? Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord” (Acts 22:16).

If you are a Christian, well despite a sincere effort we all occasionally mess up. “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous” (I John 1:8-2:1). The point of being a Christian is not that we never sin, but that we avoid sin and refuse to stay in sin.

If a pregnancy does occur and you want to talk to someone about it, I’m willing to listen and help where I can.