I’m not a virgin, but I’m afraid of getting married

Last updated on October 26, 2020



Just want to ask a question. I am not a virgin and am not married. I’m in my twenties. One time, in a drunken state, my boyfriend and I went into a physical relationship and had sex. After this first time, it happened many times. Now my parents are planning for my marriage, and I’m afraid to marry.

Please help me. What should I do? I know I have committed a sin but please do something.


I’m puzzled at what you could expect from me. You broke God’s law and it sounds like you don’t regret what you did. You only regret that your husband is going to find out that you are not a virgin. No one has to marry, but since it is clear that you will continue to have sex, you are better off at least having sex with someone where it isn’t a sin. “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (I Corinthians 7:8-9).

The past cannot be erased and sins have consequences beyond what we often expect. It would be a kindness to your future husband to let him know in advance that you are not a virgin so that he will marry you by choice and not because of false expectations.