Last updated on March 7, 2021
Good afternoon and God bless
So my question is: Can you let your boyfriend let you give you a hickey or I can give him a hickey? I would try to look it up on the Bible but I don’t have one in person but I want to know. Also, can you hug or cuddle with boys like when you’re seeing a movie or a show? I’ve seen something saying that you shouldn’t, but I’m unsure about it.
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (I Thessalonians 4:3-5).
Before answering your question, let’s go back and see why God said certain actions were wrong. God wants us to be sanctified people. He wants us be set apart for a holy purpose. Most people understand that having sex when you are not married (fornication) is wrong. It cheapens the people involved and makes them unholy. Thus, to not get involved in fornication, you have to practice self-control. But it is far too easy to lose control over yourself if your passions are being aroused. For this reason, Christians are not to get involved in sexual touching. “Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman” (I Corinthians 7:1).
You can’t just focus on your own reaction. What you might consider nice and pleasant might be driving your boyfriend insane with lust. Thus, if you can set close to your boyfriend and not stir up lust for sex in yourself or your boyfriend, then there is nothing wrong.
A hickey is a bruise caused by sucking on a piece of skin for a period of time. People tend to make them in order to embarrass another person because it indicates they were involved in kissing for a period of time. The mark is supposed to say that the marked person belongs to someone else. Since they are mildly painful, it is considered a mild form of sadism. None of the reasons are really respectful of the other person.
I’m back. I’m confused on the hickey. So is that a yes or no?
Some things might not fall into an absolute right or wrong category. In my answer, I explained why giving a boy a hickey would be unwise:
- It can stir up lust.
- It will embarrass him.
- It is making a claim on another person that you don’t have a right to claim.