Last updated on October 30, 2020
I’ve been very religious my whole life, but recently I’ve started hanging out with the wrong crowd, and I have given in to sexual temptation. I was watching movies with a boy who I am friends with at his house one evening when I felt his hand start moving up my thigh. I knew I should have ended it there, but I felt a strong evil presence that was leading me to continue. Things started to escalate, then his brother walked in. I was embarrassed and moved away, but that is when the evil presence took control. His brother joined in and before I realized what I was doing I had already committed an unforgivable sin. I lost my virginity to the evil forces that were present that night.
I have always pictured myself losing my virginity to a man I love in a monogamous relationship, and now I am not sure if I will ever be able to redeem myself in the eyes of the Lord. Please help me figure out how to step out of the dark and into the light.
In order to straighten out your situation, you are going to first have to be factual about what happened and why it happened. You admit you did wrong, but you’ve hedged it.
You noted that you were hanging out with people of low moral standards. The fact that you used to be religious doesn’t prevent you from being influenced. “Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits”” (I Corinthians 15:33). A righteous person knows to avoid evil. “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful” (Psalms 1:1).
The boy violated God’s rule about not sexually touching. “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman” (I Corinthians 7:1). You knew that it was wrong, but you liked it and encouraged it to go further. It wasn’t an evil presence that made you do it. Sure, temptation comes from Satan, but the choice was to give in to that temptation was your own. Satan can’t make anyone do what they don’t want to do.
You then had sex with the boy and his brother. It was sinful, but you are wrong to call it an unforgivable sin. In fact, if you really believed it was unforgivable, why write? There would be nothing anyone could do. The truth, however, is that all sins can be forgiven. The Bible doesn’t talk about an unforgivable sin. In fact, the word “unforgivable” doesn’t appear in the Bible. The only sins that are unforgiven are those where the sinner doesn’t repent of his sins. For example, read I Corinthians 6:9-11. There were people in the church at Corinth who used to be fornicators (the sin you committed), but they gave up that sin to serve God. There is no reason why you can’t change your mind and give up fornication as well. “For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter” (II Corinthians 7:10-11).
What God asks of people is not difficult. See: What Must I Do to be Saved?