Is it bad to have fantasies about a future husband who is not your boyfriend?

Last updated on October 31, 2020



I usually have these fantasies about my future husband. They are not entirely sexual, they are just about how we will meet, our first kiss, about our kids, and such stuff.

I have a boyfriend whom we’ve been dating for two years, but he is not the guy I think about in my fantasies. My boyfriend and I haven’t had sex yet. We are waiting for marriage.

My questions are: Will this bring about spirit husbands? Is it wrong to think about it? Does it mean that I don’t actually love my current boyfriend?


A person’s imagination is far richer than reality. There is no restraint on imagination, nor are there consequences that have to come. For instance, you can imagine having sex outside of marriage and not think about the possibilities of diseases or babies. Life just isn’t like your imagination.

There is no such thing as “spirit husbands.” But imagining yourself with someone else is not good for your relationship. It sets up expectations that will never be met. There are no bad times in your imagination.