Since I’m not a virgin, should I give sex to my boyfriend?

Question:

I read a post and I really wish to ask a question.

I was raped at 7. I’m now 18 trying to build my relationship with God, but I have a boyfriend and he’s demanding to have sex. Since I’m no longer a virgin should I give him what he is demanding? I’m quite confused.

Answer:

I’m really sorry to hear that someone sexually abused you when you were a child. No one child should face such things.

However, your reasoning is not sound in regards to your boyfriend. Allow me to illustrate it with a different topic. Suppose I was robbed ten years ago. There is a man knocking on my door, demanding to be let in so he can rob my house. Do I let him in because I was robbed in the past? The answer should obviously be “No!” Just because something was taken from you years ago, it doesn’t give anyone the right to come and demand more.

What happened to you at age 7 was wrong. Even if the guy talked you into it, a child doesn’t understand what is going on. The blame for the sin rests completely on the rapist. You are innocent in God’s sight, even if your feelings might cause you doubts at time.

What your boyfriend is demanding of you is sinful (Hebrews 13:4) and Christians are taught not to give in to the temptation to sin. When you are a Christian, you are a child of God and a person where the presence of the Holy Spirit is seen. ” Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body” (I Corinthians 6:19-20).

I know it is nice to have someone who wants you, someone to fill in that gap in your life, but this guy is only wanting to use you for his gratification. You don’t want that kind of guy in your life. It is time to dump him and find a man who treats you as someone special.