Why do boys seem to be attracted to me, even when I refuse to have sex with them?

Last updated on October 30, 2020



I’m 21 years old. I have a problem with guys. The problem is me, or so I think. Every guy I like always likes me back, even those in relationships that I didn’t know about. Now the problem is for the guys who are single: no one wants to be committed to me. All of them lust for me. I’m like their kryptonite. When I’m around them they get confused, and all they want is to have me. I don’t understand because the truth is I’m still a virgin, saved, and I dress modestly. When I refuse to have sex with them, the funny thing is they stick around as close friends and say that I’m a friend they don’t want to lose and that they can now more than ever lie down their lives for me.

I’ve been praying for God to help me understand this. It’s disturbing. Please help.


I’m not certain what your question is. The reason guys find you attractive is that you have respect for yourself and it shows. You are not like most women today. You are firm in your beliefs and firm that a man has to be committed to in marriage before you will have sex with him. Therefore, you are new and unused, and men are attracted to the pureness of your nature.

In Song of Solomon we are told that some women are like walls — they fend off would-be suitors until the right man comes along. Other women are like doors, they chase after any man who comes along. You are one who is like a wall.

We have a little sister, and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister in the day when she is spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build upon her a battlement of silver; and if she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar.

“I am a wall, and my breasts like towers; then I became in his eyes as one who found peace” (Song of Solomon 8:8-10).