Why does my cousin flirt with me if he is not interested in me?

Last updated on October 30, 2020


My story, some say its childish and some say its a puppy love! But I would say I am really into him!

My story starts with: My cousin who lives close to me. I don’t feel anything for him at all when I first saw his face because I already had a crush on a classmate. A year later it changed, I started having feelings for him. He started to physically touch my face and flirt with me even more. From there we started talking non-stop to this day. We didn’t kiss or anything, but I tried to keep in touch with him by going to his house several times a month to see him because I miss him so much. I talked with my best guy friend about it and he said if I confess to him my feelings, the relationship would not work well and it would be awkward! The result was that I did want to try even more.

I confessed my feelings to him through messages.  I think he already knew it. He keeps talking to me, but I reply less every day. We have become quite uncomfortable when we are together. I started to ask him private questions like do you have a girlfriend or what type of girls do you like. I started liking him even more. I asked him if I could be more than cousins and he said no! But I was still trying to make it work, but I don’t know what to do. We have lots of things in common too! I still want to ask him if I could still try to be more than friends!

My questions are:

  1. Can he really accept me as a girlfriend? I mean we have things in common and we flirt.
  2. Why did he flirt with me, if he doesn’t like me from the first?
  3. How can I get rid of the feeling I have for him?


I checked the laws in your country and cousins are not allowed to marry in your country; therefore, what you are trying to pursue is not allowed. It appears your cousin realizes this. He sees it as safe to flirt with his cousin because nothing can come from it. Unfortunately, you don’t see it the same way. You are taking things far more seriously than he is.

Boys tend to be direct. Girls have a tendency to look for double meanings. Your cousin told you that he wasn’t interested in you; yet, you decided that he didn’t really mean it. This is a relationship completely built upon your fantasies about him. It is one-sided. Only you think it exists or has potential.

You need to face reality. Stop building dreams and be more serious about finding a man you can be seriously considered for a future marriage.