Last updated on October 31, 2020
Question:
Good day,
I am currently having issues with my boyfriend who is an atheist. Before I was baptized everything was going well. I had a boyfriend and nothing seemed to change. We had talked about getting married in the near future and having children. I even explained that if I had sex before marriage that things would be difficult in our relationship.
Some months after being baptized I had sexual relations with my boyfriend. I was going through lots of issues, such as the death of my grandmother and financial issue. He also was pressuring me into sexual activities. I did it because I loved him. It wasn’t before I pushed him away, and I started crying because of my excessive guilt and shame. I don’t even feel like I can be forgiven up to this very day as I have done it more than once, and I regret it so badly. I stopped going to church. Every now and then I remember and I would cry myself to sleep and get angry at my boyfriend for all that I have gone through just for him. This changed my view of getting married. I don’t even want to have children as I have a really bad temper. I have repented, fell on my knees, and ask God for forgiveness from the start, and I pray that I could change from my ways.
We have decided to break up temporarily. I tried to talk with him about making our relationship public, such as meeting in public, but he is an introvert, so it is really difficult. The question is: should we break up or continue and to try and build?
As it relates to religion, will I be forgiven if I was a Christian and had fornicated? I would really like some recommendations as I am suffering too long with guilt.
Answer:
Christians are not immune to sin. “My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous” (I John 2:1). Fornication is not greater nor less than any other sin. See: Are You Unforgivable?
Your boyfriend behaved very selfishly. He took advantage of your stress to push you into having sex with him. This does not show a man who considers what is best for other people. The claim that he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you seems contrived. If he is really that shy, then he will not easily be able to provide for his family. Also notice that through his influence, you’ve moved away from God. This would continue if you married him.
I can’t tell you what to do, but I would strongly suggest that you need to find another boyfriend — one who draws you closer to God and does not push you to sin. Find a man you will be proud to call your husband and whom you want to raise your children.