How do I explain to my boyfriend that we can’t have sex at this time?

Last updated on October 31, 2020


I’m currently 19 and dating a guy who is 18 years old. He wants us to have sex, but I am not ready, and besides, we are not married or emotionally ready for sex. He sees it differently. Is this a sign that we are not meant for each other, or do I explain to him exactly what God wants from us? How do I do it?


My guess is that no matter how well you explain why sex before marriage is wrong, he won’t accept your answer. The only answer he wants to hear involves the shedding of clothes. But still it is worth a try.

I assume he thinks of himself as a Christian. Have him read “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Point out that real Christians don’t commit fornication.

Also take a look at the following:

If he will not agree that sex before marriage is wrong or if he continues to try to have sex with you, then the only thing left for you is to break up with him. Continuing when you disagree on such a fundamental issue will only cause arguments and quit possibly you compromising your faith in God.

Consider this: If he is willing to break God’s law now, what would make you think he would remain a faithful husband and a follower of God after you get married?