Is God telling me to stay with this boy who drinks, smokes, and dates multiple girls at the same time?

Last updated on October 28, 2020


I met a boy three years ago whom I couldn’t get out of my head. At the time he had a girlfriend and I started separating myself from him in order not to influence him and his girlfriend’s relationship. But he asked me and something kept telling me to stick with him because his current relationship was breaking him. He couldn’t leave the girl because her parents had just separated, and he didn’t want to hurt her more. So I talked with the boy in order to support him while he was in this bad relationship. We really started falling in love and read the Bible together.

After a while, he left his girlfriend and I thought we were going to be together. I prayed for a sign if I should still go into a relationship with this boy and God gave me a positive sign. But shortly after that, the boy started smoking and drinking. Then I found out he had about six other girls who he talked to during this time. I asked God what to do, and He still gave me a sign to keep holding on to this boy despite everything because it just wasn’t the time know for us to be together but maybe later.

Do you think it is worth it? Because I can’t get myself to like any other guy. It feels like God let all these bad things happen to us because it’s not the time for us to be together now. I don’t know what to do anymore.


Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone” (James 1:13).

You give a classic example of someone who uses her own personal desires as a guide but masks it by claiming that God is behind this.

You claim that God wants you to date a boy who smokes, drinks, and goes with multiple girls at the same time. God doesn’t encourage sin or sinful situations. Therefore, you are not getting signs from God.

Besides God stated that our guidance comes from His Word, the Bible. He once talked to some people directly (Hebrews 1:1-2), but now He talks through Christ. That message was given once (Jude 3). There is no ongoing revelation to people.

Your decision to stick with a boy who is doing wrong is not a sensible choice. It is contrary to what God teaches in the Bible regarding how to pick a good husband.