My boyfriend and I have been together for four months. My boyfriend, who is Christian, helped me to get saved (yup, I’m a baby Christian). He gets prophetic visions from the Lord, and it seems that God has given me to him as a blessing since we are very right for each other in many ways. However, my boyfriend and I have regressively fallen for sexual temptation more times than I can count. I suppose I can blame it on our sinful nature, lack of self-control, and being young, very much infatuated, and in love.
We are finally taking the upper hand and saying enough is enough. We started a daily study on the matter.
I’ve heard things that scare me a bit such as: if you have sex before marriage then you will grow to hate each other, or if sex happens before marriage then your relationship is doomed. It doesn’t seem to be any of those things right now, but I fear that I’ll lose the boy that I love and that God has seemed to have given me as a present because of how badly we have stumbled and turned away from God since He has total authority to do so. However, I do note that He is a graceful God, and this may be a time of turning closer to Him since He works best through our weaknesses. Do you think that God will end up separating us, or do you think that this is a time that will help us become steadfast in faith and an opportunity for iron to sharpen iron?
I figured this website would be a wonderful opportunity to confess to the outside world and receive an answer from a Christian anonymously since if we told any of our parents we would be in so much trouble, and we may not be able to see each other again, which we unwisely ignored, unfortunately. I know it would be best to tell our parents morally, but the truth is that is the last thing I want since it would cause so much trouble because my boyfriend has strict parents and I don’t want to lose trust their trust, specifically his dad who is prone to rage and misunderstanding.
Thank you for your time, and God bless.
I know there are plenty of people claiming to be prophets today, but they do so contrary to what God said about the matter. See Why is it always brought up that prophecy will cease? I especially find annoying so-called prophets who just happen to claim to have a message from God that benefits them or coincides with exactly what they want.
“Thus says the LORD of hosts, ‘Do not listen to the words of the prophets who are prophesying to you. They are leading you into futility; they speak a vision of their own imagination, not from the mouth of the LORD’” (Jeremiah 23:16).
“But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves. Many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of the truth will be maligned; and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep. … For speaking out arrogant words of vanity they entice by fleshly desires, by sensuality, those who barely escape from the ones who live in error, promising them freedom while they themselves are slaves of corruption; for by what a man is overcome, by this he is enslaved. For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first” (II Peter 2:1-3, 18-20).
I’m glad you two realize that getting involved in sexual sins is wrong and that you are doing something about it. Studying God’s word is the right course. It won’t always tell you what you want to hear, but it will tell you what you need to hear. However, I don’t want you to equate the Bible with dreams that someone wishes to attribute to God.
Actions are called sinful by God because there are inherent dangers in sinful actions. Those dangers exist, whether you want to acknowledge the truth of what God said or not. The obvious dangers of sex before marriage are pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, but there are also more subtle problems.
Once sex becomes a part of a relationship, it quickly becomes dominant. You end up spending a lot of time either in bed or thinking about the next time you can do it again. But what you don’t see is that you aren’t spending nearly enough time getting to know the other person. The result is that the two people tend to drift about because sex is never enough to hold a relationship together. It isn’t that God has driven the couple apart. The couple drifts apart on their own because it is something inherent in sexual sins. In other words, God warns about the danger, and by ignoring God’s warning, the consequence comes. See Marriage’s Glue.
Is every couple who gets involved sexually doomed to break up? Not necessarily. Some couples realize their error and change. Unfortunately, most don’t. Most often, one or the other refuses to change which eventually leads to a disagreement and a breakup.
You both have started out on bad footing. It means to make this relationship work, you both will have to put in hard effort to overcome the consequences of your bad start. Whether you succeed will depend on your determination to live your life as God directs.