I can’t get a boyfriend

Last updated on June 21, 2022



I have been so so sad for the past several years as my friends would all get boyfriends but I feel like guys don’t even look in my direction. I grew up as a boy-crazy little girl and would always picture myself with a boyfriend throughout high school. I just graduated and yet I’ve never even had my first kiss.

I know it’s all in God’s timing, but I can’t help but think He’s almost pushing it off so that I learn more. Not like learning to become more mature, but almost like how a parent teaches a lesson after you get in trouble.

I used to watch porn (but thank the Lord I was able to get past that) but I’ve never been able to break my masturbation habit. I feel as though God is waiting for me to break that habit before he can like “trust me” with a boyfriend.

All I know is that I am so lonely and I know I don’t need a boyfriend but it gets annoying when all my friends are out with their boyfriends and I’m stuck at home instead of being the third wheel. I feel like I’m ready for a boyfriend, I want that kind of commitment, someone who will love me, someone who I can grow in my relationship with the Lord with, yet I feel like something is holding me back. That and no guy wants to date me right now anyway, haha.

Thank you for the help, God bless.


It is a mistake to assume what God thinks based on what you don’t know. God says pornography is wrong (I Thessalonians 4:3-5), so I congratulate you on breaking that sinful habit. While stimulating yourself feels good, the honest truth is that it serves no useful purpose for women. It is a momentary distraction that doesn’t solve the actual problem.

Boys are visually oriented, but if you try to attract guys with just your looks, you get the attention of guys solely interested in sexual conquest. I’m sure you don’t need that type of guy in your life.

Related to this are the guys who will tell a girl anything she wants to hear so long as he sees it leading to sex. Again, this is not the type of guy you need in your life, no matter how lonely you are.

It may be hard to imagine, but there are plenty of guys out there who are equally lonely. They tend to hover in the background. They are too shy to talk (for fear of messing things up with their words) so girls tend to ignore them. Therefore, look for the nice, clean-looking guy who is easily overlooked and strike up a conversation with him. At first, it may be awkward. The guy will be wondering where the trap is because he is convinced that no girl would want to talk to him. He won’t be like your girl friends, who have comments about everything. You might have to start conversations with several guys before you find one who is a good fit for you.

To understand guys better, I would like you to look at: For Young Women Only.


Thank you so much for this. Your words are truly moving. I am looking forward to checking out the book.

Thanks! God Bless.