I had sex with a boy but he went back to his girlfriend. Where do I go from here?

Last updated on October 26, 2020


I am in my early twenties. I was raised in a Christian home with believing parents. I am a “born again” believer and wanted to remain pure until marriage. Not long ago, I lost my virginity to a guy who I had been seeing for a short time. We continued seeing each other for a month, continuing to have sex. There was one big problem: he is living with his girlfriend of two years. He decided he still wanted to be with her, so he broke things off with me. I feel hurt and devastated beyond belief. My heart is broken, and I have never experienced emotional pain like this before. I prayed and asked for forgiveness, but the heartache inside feels like it is more than I can bear. Where do I go from here?


You go back to God.

Notice that despite your upbringing, your claim to follow Christ, and your intentions to remain a virgin until marriage, you did had sex repeatedly when you thought that it would “buy” you a boyfriend. Worse, you were having sex with a guy you knew was having sex with another girl. The situation was clearly not going to work and was bound to cause you to hurt.

I sorry that you are hurting, but you did wrong. “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Sins have consequences and emotional pain is one of the minor things that could have happened. Consider it an incentive to not repeat this sin. “If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?” (Hebrews 12:7).