I let a man kiss and touch me

Last updated on October 29, 2020

Question:

Please, I have a problem and I need advice. I am in my early twenties and my relationship with God is okay. He is my Father, and I am His daughter. I try my best to avoid certain things. I stay away from immoral acts too. No matter what I try to do, I try to do everything it takes to be a good Christian lady and what I feel is right because I love God.

I got involved with a male friend of mine, we accidentally kissed and he went a bit far with the kiss and touching, but we didn’t make love.

Please, I am from a staunch Christian home. My parents are really into God. We involve Him in our daily lives. I felt so guilty after this. I felt I had sinned against my Father (God). I felt I am no more His daughter. I felt unforgiven and it is like I have betrayed God because I told Him I wanted to be good and godly. It is so hard for me.

I just saw your website and I needed help. Please, I need an answer. I pray it gets better because I am not at peace with myself.

Answer:

You and this man did break a law of God. “Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman” (I Corinthians 7:1). By “touch” Paul is referring to sexual touching, which you got involved in.

You called it an accident, but it wasn’t an accident. I’m sure the man intentionally did this and you permitted it at the time because it felt good. Accidents are when you trip and fall. This wasn’t an accident, so don’t mislabel what happened.

The real problem is that you are being overdramatic about the fact that you sinned. While Christians try hard not to sin, the fact of the matter is that sins happen. “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous” (I John 1:8-2:1).

Rather than wallowing in self-pity, straighten yourself out and get back to serving God.